Margaretsnews
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
 

Brie, Gouda, or Smokey Cheddar?

I know it’s been a week since my last posting. The truth is, it was a miserable weekend, and I didn’t even feel good enough to whine about it, which says something. Here’s what’s happening.

Since I still have Miss Piggy feet in spite of the diuretics, my doctor decided to schedule me for an echocardiogram, which is similar to an ultrasound, but of the heart. It’s not unpleasant at all: lie on the table, get some warm goo on the skin, and someone with a wand thingie (yes, that’s the technical term) rolls it around and generates pictures on a computer screen. My job was to lie there quietly. Sometimes the technicians would talk about what was on the screen (“See? That’s the mitral valve. We want a picture of that,”) and other times they were very, very quiet. Yes, I know what it means when they are quiet. I also know that they won’t tell me a darn thing. Once I left that office, I went home for some lunch, and debated as to whether or not to return to work. The phone rang, and it was the oncologist’s office. They had the results already, and wanted to know how quickly I could get over to Radiology for a chest x-ray. I was there in 20 minutes. (Sorry, co-workers!) Once I left Radiology, I headed over to Oncology because it’s Chemo Tuesday, and I hadn’t been pushed over the edge just yet. My oncologist was out of town so I saw another one in the practice. Dr. S. decided that since I had fluid around my heart, and fluid in my lung, there was just no need to add more fluid in the form of chemo, and wanted a thoracentesis performed today. As in right now, if the doctors could squeeze me in. After giving it about 2 seconds’ thought, I declined that offer. After all, I’ve been feeling this pressure for weeks now, what’s one more day? So thoracentesis # 6 is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Yes, tomorrow. And yes, I did get chemo today. But I had to fight for it. (Am I insane?)

All in all, it’s been a very hard week, physically and emotionally. During chemo weekend, I was exhausted, swollen, bloated, cranky, and developed an odd red rash. I couldn’t visit with Mom & Dad as often as I wanted to and that was frustrating. Talking on the phone is difficult for the three of us, so even when we did communicate that way, it was frequently more confusing than anything. The good news is that Mom and Dad are better, so that’s less stress. The illness finally has a name and is treatable, so it got treated and sent home. The scheduled procedure is in the customary rehab, and is doing very well. It’s hard for me to visit either of them; just walking to the door or down the hall is quite a strain and sometimes I just have to stop and rest. I swear, if it wasn’t happening to me, I wouldn’t believe it.

I promise that tomorrow I’ll be gracious and count my many blessings. But for tonight I’m just going to whine. Pass the cheese.

 
Comments:
Whine away, you're entitled. I'm surprised you can still joke about it. Getting stuck into the medical machine is not only scary but frequently frustrating.

If you were willing and able to fight for your regular chemo, that must mean you've still got the moxie. ;+)

(((hugs)))
 
What Zaza said. Some days you need to whine. Go for it.

Oh, and ditto on the ((hugs))
 
Yo Girl, I totally agree with above, wine if you got to... Your privilidge (I misspelled it for your benefit).. Hang in there and know you got a bunch of us on your side. Need dinner???
 
Whining is good. Means you can. So whine away. And wine, too.
 
Whine away, dear. Have yourself a good old fashioned pity fest. Sometimes you just have to let it out.
 
Margaret,whine all you want, in fact, you are not whining...you are just telling us your feelings. Remember, just let us know and we will do whatever we can for you...want something delivered to eat - anything...honestly. You are one special person...hang in there - we love you - a co-worker
 
Margaret, As was very eloquently stated above whine, wine all you want and then do it again.
And feel free to have a
"Poor Baby" party too. Just call and we will bring the doughnuts and muffins.
 
(((Margaret))) Ditto the comments above. Hang in there. Things will get better.

Take care.
 
One virtual poor baby party heading your direction- complete with whine, cheese, crackers, fresh fruit and of course chocolate- also included are multiple shoulders to cry on which are attached to arms for hugging- I'm also throwing in some hearts for well wishes and some balloon animals because they make everyone smile

CC
 
CC's commnt made me smile.
It's true, you need to vent. There's no need to bottle up your true feelings among friends. And you are surrounded by a plethora of those. (I love that scene in the Three Amigos)
Baked brie with raspberry sauce is one of my favourite things to have with wine. Guoda is great all on its own.
I'll bring the silly movies to the virtual party. Laughter may not be as effective as chemo but it has its place.
 
Hi Margaret -

I'm glad to hear that Mom and Dad are getting better for your sake as well as theirs. I'm so proud of you fighting for the chemo - you continually make me shout "you go girl!!!!" and I've learned to expect no less from you. Bless you Margaret for being who you are and don't ever apologize for justly earned whining --- it's better to get it out then bottled up inside --- you will beat that Skippy to a pulp yet.

Love, Jo
 
How could I continue on this adventure without you all?

I don't even want to think about it.

Thank you for being here.
 
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I decided to put a blog together for 2 reasons. I have cancer and am undergoing treatments. I wanted a record of events, and I also knew I wouldn't be able to update everyone constantly. You know how it goes: the first person who calls gets very good information. The 10th person gets, "I'm fine, kinda tired. Can we talk later?", which I thought wasn't fair. The response has been awesome; I never expected this kind of success. Thanks, Blogger! And thanks to all who read, respond, and care.

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