Thursday, January 11, 2007
Thursday
It’s been a little over a week after radiation ended, and I feel much better! I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I started getting well again. And because I was feeling so much better, I decided that I could work a little more than a half day. So I did. Tuesday I went home at 2:30, and decided that I still needed to take it easy, so I only did 2 loads of laundry, walked the dog, and cooked some chili for dinner. Easy stuff. Apparently not easy enough, because on Wednesday I was tired, my jaw hurt, and I was having a hard time breathing. (Yes, E., you were right. Again.) But you know, it’s SO hard to rest when I feel so darn good. And the boys are resuming their lives because ol’ Mom seems to be feeling fine now. Yes, they still do whatever I ask, but now they seem surprised that I need help. And so am I. Now I know that I didn’t get sick all at once, and won’t heal all at once. I get it. It’s still hard to take it easy.
It’s funny (and you know I mean NOT) that I’m still feeling some of the effects of the tumor and radiation. I still burp after eating or drinking, but not as much as before. The radiation burn is still tender. I still spend about 20 minutes coughing every morning. Some foods are still touchy to swallow--although not enough to stop me! My jaw and ear still ache sometimes. I still have pressure in my chest periodically. Breathing is labored if I walk fast or walk up stairs. After just a little exertion (like carrying groceries), my heart pounds. I feel better if I take ibuprofen each morning. I’m surprised at all these things. Logic tells me that the effects of the radiation will be here for a while, and I still have the tumor, so why wouldn’t I feel it? Still, I was sort of expecting to be “fixed” after all that chemo & killer radiation. I know, I know, the chemo & radiation were in preparation for the surgery. The purpose of the C & R regimen was to zap the cancer in the lymph nodes, and to shrink the tumor to make the removal more successful. (Although I’m told that the removal of the bottom lobe of my left lung is what will happen—I still don’t quite get why the tumor had to be shrunk if the lung will be removed anyway. Maybe they just didn’t want it to get bigger and latch onto something else. Maybe they’re keeping their options open regarding removal of the lung vs. just the tumor. Maybe the radiation crew needed new sports cars this year.)
I was reading over some old blog entries, and I have noticed that progress has been made in lots of areas. I no longer run hot and cold constantly. My fingernails are back to normal (darn!). I have eyebrows and eyelashes again! The radiation burn is shrinking; it’s now about the size of an oval softball, as opposed to not-quite-football size. I don’t have food cravings. I’m cooking more and eating more, and gaining a little weight. And the oddest thing of all: I no longer have the desire to eat chocolate by the bucketful.
Thanks for being here. ¶ 5:31 PM
It’s been a little over a week after radiation ended, and I feel much better! I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I started getting well again. And because I was feeling so much better, I decided that I could work a little more than a half day. So I did. Tuesday I went home at 2:30, and decided that I still needed to take it easy, so I only did 2 loads of laundry, walked the dog, and cooked some chili for dinner. Easy stuff. Apparently not easy enough, because on Wednesday I was tired, my jaw hurt, and I was having a hard time breathing. (Yes, E., you were right. Again.) But you know, it’s SO hard to rest when I feel so darn good. And the boys are resuming their lives because ol’ Mom seems to be feeling fine now. Yes, they still do whatever I ask, but now they seem surprised that I need help. And so am I. Now I know that I didn’t get sick all at once, and won’t heal all at once. I get it. It’s still hard to take it easy.
It’s funny (and you know I mean NOT) that I’m still feeling some of the effects of the tumor and radiation. I still burp after eating or drinking, but not as much as before. The radiation burn is still tender. I still spend about 20 minutes coughing every morning. Some foods are still touchy to swallow--although not enough to stop me! My jaw and ear still ache sometimes. I still have pressure in my chest periodically. Breathing is labored if I walk fast or walk up stairs. After just a little exertion (like carrying groceries), my heart pounds. I feel better if I take ibuprofen each morning. I’m surprised at all these things. Logic tells me that the effects of the radiation will be here for a while, and I still have the tumor, so why wouldn’t I feel it? Still, I was sort of expecting to be “fixed” after all that chemo & killer radiation. I know, I know, the chemo & radiation were in preparation for the surgery. The purpose of the C & R regimen was to zap the cancer in the lymph nodes, and to shrink the tumor to make the removal more successful. (Although I’m told that the removal of the bottom lobe of my left lung is what will happen—I still don’t quite get why the tumor had to be shrunk if the lung will be removed anyway. Maybe they just didn’t want it to get bigger and latch onto something else. Maybe they’re keeping their options open regarding removal of the lung vs. just the tumor. Maybe the radiation crew needed new sports cars this year.)
I was reading over some old blog entries, and I have noticed that progress has been made in lots of areas. I no longer run hot and cold constantly. My fingernails are back to normal (darn!). I have eyebrows and eyelashes again! The radiation burn is shrinking; it’s now about the size of an oval softball, as opposed to not-quite-football size. I don’t have food cravings. I’m cooking more and eating more, and gaining a little weight. And the oddest thing of all: I no longer have the desire to eat chocolate by the bucketful.
Thanks for being here. ¶ 5:31 PM
