Getting ready

I’m getting more relaxed—no, just less uptight—about the upcoming surgery. Some of the preparations have been made, and others are waiting patiently in their spot in line, and others are still waiting to make it onto the list. Some things I can’t do too soon, otherwise I’ll just have to do them again, like clean the house. (And heaven forbid that the vacuum cleaner runs more than absolutely necessary.)

It would be a huge understatement to say that I don’t want to have this surgery. I know that everything up to this point was in preparation for it. But now that it’s here, I’m losing my macho and enthusiasm, and I don’t want to play anymore. I feel like I’ve been thrown under a bus —a couple of times—and there’s still a couple of buses waiting with their engines revving. It’s hard to do something that you know will make you feel rotten. And then heal from that, and do it again. And again. Bottom line: I don’t want to do this because I’m a big, ol’ chicken. But since I have no choice, I’ll be there Thursday morning, kicking and screaming, insurance card in one hand, rabbit’s foot in the other.

I’ve decided that when I go to have the surgery, the wig stays home. I now have enough hair to be seen from a distance, and I’m quite OK with being wig-less. The new look is quite different, and I like it better. My new hair is salt and pepper colored, very short and sassy looking, and soft like baby hair. So anyone who comes to visit should not be looking for short-ish blonde hair because that’ll be at home on the dresser. Permanently, I hope.

Since this is as much a record for me as information for you, I felt obligated to share this little wrinkle. After the CT scan was read last week, I was told that there are spots on my liver. So now I get to have an MRI on Sunday (SUNDAY?? Surely I jest—but no) to check out my liver and brain. I’m fairly certain that there’s nothing in my brain (y’all go ahead and laugh, it’s OK), and the doctor is fairly certain that these spots are just spots, so we’re not worrying. At this point, we have nothing to worry about; all we know is that my liver has spots. (Should I call them liver spots? No? ) When I know more info, I’ll post it.

Thanks for being here. I know y’all will take good care of me. Again.  ¶ 2:19 PM