Friday, October 13, 2006
Treatment #4 is OVER!!
A typical “happy juice” day. Bring your lunch and strap yourself in. It’s exciting. Yes, I’m kidding.
Upon arrival at Happy Juice Junction, I check in, just like at a doctor’s office. Then I sit and wait. Pretty soon, someone calls me and I go through the door. It slams shut behind me. The air is suddenly cold and still. The jingle of keys brings terror to….oh, wait, wrong story.
The door softly closes, and I am weighed, and then taken to the lab area. I take a seat and a nice nurse takes my temperature and blood pressure. Then she takes about a gallon of blood although she swears it’s only 3 vials. If it’s a day to visit with the doctor, I get put into an examination room. If not, then I get escorted down the hall and into the room where all the action happens.
I grab a blanket and pick a recliner while the nurses argue over whose turn it is to attend to me. (“Oh, no, I’m not taking her this time, I had her LAST time.” “Well, I’m not taking her either, she’s in YOUR area!”) Eventually, they draw straws, then use that straw to poke a hole in my arm for the IV. In a few minutes, I am given an IV bag full of some anti-nausea medicine. Or maybe it’s water. And when that bag is empty, I am given a bag of Benadryl, although it could be vodka. At this point, I get drowsy enough to stop talking. (I usually hear cheering in the nurses’ station right about then.) When the Benadryl bag is empty, the Taxol bag begins. After 3 bags of Taxol, I get 1 bag of Carboplatin.
This whole procedure takes about 5 hours. In the room, there are snacks and drinks available for everyone. Now and then I get up for a goodie, but mostly I just sit there, sometimes snoozing and sometimes reading. The nurses check on me periodically to make sure I’m not dead. And when all the bags are empty, the nurses unplug me and point me to the door. My reward is to stagger out to the check out area, make an appointment for the next treatment, hand over my payment, and hope my ride home has not forgotten me.
The next chapter will be: Radiation: Does it make me glow?
Thanks for being here. Please know that I could not do this without your being here, reading, listening, laughing, and walking with me. I’m not sure how it works, but I do draw strength from the thoughts, the prayers, and the happy vibes that are sent my way. I need them all, and I am grateful to get them. ¶ 3:17 PM
A typical “happy juice” day. Bring your lunch and strap yourself in. It’s exciting. Yes, I’m kidding.
Upon arrival at Happy Juice Junction, I check in, just like at a doctor’s office. Then I sit and wait. Pretty soon, someone calls me and I go through the door. It slams shut behind me. The air is suddenly cold and still. The jingle of keys brings terror to….oh, wait, wrong story.
The door softly closes, and I am weighed, and then taken to the lab area. I take a seat and a nice nurse takes my temperature and blood pressure. Then she takes about a gallon of blood although she swears it’s only 3 vials. If it’s a day to visit with the doctor, I get put into an examination room. If not, then I get escorted down the hall and into the room where all the action happens.
I grab a blanket and pick a recliner while the nurses argue over whose turn it is to attend to me. (“Oh, no, I’m not taking her this time, I had her LAST time.” “Well, I’m not taking her either, she’s in YOUR area!”) Eventually, they draw straws, then use that straw to poke a hole in my arm for the IV. In a few minutes, I am given an IV bag full of some anti-nausea medicine. Or maybe it’s water. And when that bag is empty, I am given a bag of Benadryl, although it could be vodka. At this point, I get drowsy enough to stop talking. (I usually hear cheering in the nurses’ station right about then.) When the Benadryl bag is empty, the Taxol bag begins. After 3 bags of Taxol, I get 1 bag of Carboplatin.
This whole procedure takes about 5 hours. In the room, there are snacks and drinks available for everyone. Now and then I get up for a goodie, but mostly I just sit there, sometimes snoozing and sometimes reading. The nurses check on me periodically to make sure I’m not dead. And when all the bags are empty, the nurses unplug me and point me to the door. My reward is to stagger out to the check out area, make an appointment for the next treatment, hand over my payment, and hope my ride home has not forgotten me.
The next chapter will be: Radiation: Does it make me glow?
Thanks for being here. Please know that I could not do this without your being here, reading, listening, laughing, and walking with me. I’m not sure how it works, but I do draw strength from the thoughts, the prayers, and the happy vibes that are sent my way. I need them all, and I am grateful to get them. ¶ 3:17 PM
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They actually were able to WEIGH you? Man oh man. I cannot believe they have those kinds of scales at Happy Juice Junction. Did they hold their collective breaths when they hoisted you onto it? It what? Whadda ya meen, what is it? Now, pay attention Margaret: the scale. Do they have to do that every time? It's no wonder they shudder when you come in the door.
And the straw they used to make a hole in your arm. Was it one of those pea-shooter kinds or was it like horsies sleep on? I would prefer the pea-shooter kind because then you could turn it toward one of your eyeballs and see what is going on inside there. The kind horsies sleep on aren't rigid enough. I tried.
What the stuff is they used is not water, vodka, taxol and the other thing. It is in no particular order: Kerosine, reconstituted nasturtiam pollen, sheep dip, Curevo Gold, hydrogen peroxide and dried banana peel lining, three cups of water from Big Spring on the Henry's Fork, Fire Aint stuff, and grasshopper spit. I no, I no, you didn't really want to know all that but I just couldn't resist. After all, you almost guessed what it was without my help. See, I am useful for something besides throwing rocks at.
It is really interesting you think the nurses check to see if you are still alive. Actually, they are checking if those noises are coming from this dainty little female person or the dragon she had on the leash when she came in. I know you appreciate that I called them and told them to keep an I on the dragon. I told them she is very friendly. Once agin, Margaret, PAY attention: The dragon is friendly, not you. You are meener'n haick and not friendly atol. Far too meen to dy in their chemical store.
Well, we have to move on. Just what do you mean: Next chapter? You told me this book wasn't one of them thick ones. So what's up with another chapter and when do we get to the good stuff? I mean, like, Margaret, RADIATION now? What, you think you really ARE sick or something? This isn't going to be one of those really thick books like Enola reads, is it? Did I really sign up for this or what? When you told me you had a book for me to read, I thought it was like one of my Archie comics or Thor or Superboy or the Road Runner. But I never expected there to be a chapter about radioations. Do we get a test too? Or are you going to hog them all yerownself?
Go take a nap and get ready for Tuesday. We cannot tolerate you goofing off any more than you already do. It is time for my own medicine. I no, I no, what a releef! It is a releef for me too. I am hearing those voices agin.
Say goodnight, Gracie.
Oh, I almost forgot. May I have some of the grasshopper spit?
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And the straw they used to make a hole in your arm. Was it one of those pea-shooter kinds or was it like horsies sleep on? I would prefer the pea-shooter kind because then you could turn it toward one of your eyeballs and see what is going on inside there. The kind horsies sleep on aren't rigid enough. I tried.
What the stuff is they used is not water, vodka, taxol and the other thing. It is in no particular order: Kerosine, reconstituted nasturtiam pollen, sheep dip, Curevo Gold, hydrogen peroxide and dried banana peel lining, three cups of water from Big Spring on the Henry's Fork, Fire Aint stuff, and grasshopper spit. I no, I no, you didn't really want to know all that but I just couldn't resist. After all, you almost guessed what it was without my help. See, I am useful for something besides throwing rocks at.
It is really interesting you think the nurses check to see if you are still alive. Actually, they are checking if those noises are coming from this dainty little female person or the dragon she had on the leash when she came in. I know you appreciate that I called them and told them to keep an I on the dragon. I told them she is very friendly. Once agin, Margaret, PAY attention: The dragon is friendly, not you. You are meener'n haick and not friendly atol. Far too meen to dy in their chemical store.
Well, we have to move on. Just what do you mean: Next chapter? You told me this book wasn't one of them thick ones. So what's up with another chapter and when do we get to the good stuff? I mean, like, Margaret, RADIATION now? What, you think you really ARE sick or something? This isn't going to be one of those really thick books like Enola reads, is it? Did I really sign up for this or what? When you told me you had a book for me to read, I thought it was like one of my Archie comics or Thor or Superboy or the Road Runner. But I never expected there to be a chapter about radioations. Do we get a test too? Or are you going to hog them all yerownself?
Go take a nap and get ready for Tuesday. We cannot tolerate you goofing off any more than you already do. It is time for my own medicine. I no, I no, what a releef! It is a releef for me too. I am hearing those voices agin.
Say goodnight, Gracie.
Oh, I almost forgot. May I have some of the grasshopper spit?
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