Sunday, September 17, 2006
Sunday
There are lots of people who read this blog and get information. Others read and comment. And then there are others, who read and then want the "real" story. And this blog is for them.
Honestly, I'm OK. Yeah, there are days when I'm tired and cranky, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, my head hurts, and I can't take one breath without gasping and coughing. I get a little depressed sometimes. I get VERY frustrated at my inability to function like I used to, and I just hate, hate, HATE having no hair. I want to stomp my foot and throw dishes. (I don't, but I want to.)
But there are more days when that doesn't happen. Most days I don't hurt much, the coughing is minimal, and I am grateful that I'm no sicker than I am. I don't wonder "why me?"; there's no reason to, and no good answer anyway. I have a wonderful support system, with people ready and willing to jump in whenever for whatever. My kids are OK; they get the facts as I get them, and they are free to ask any questions that arise. They both seem very happy to do whatever I ask of them, and they don't complain if their plans have to change because I need them with me. My former spouse is very supportive as well; he often offers to help in any way he can. My workplace is also very supportive; co-workers offer encouragement, wonderful meals, and pats on the back. People in my building, whom I don't yet know, offer good wishes when they see me.
When people call me, they are generally surprised that I sound like myself. (I don't know who they expect!) Yes, I have cancer, but I still laugh and joke around like I always have. We talk about the things we've always talked about; sometimes we talk about cancer, sometimes we don't. I don't mind answering questions about this illness, but I don't want to bore people with it, either.
The blog is to inform people of my progress (or lack thereof), but it's also a record for me, so when this is all over, I will remember what it was like. I don't put in every detail, some things are just too personal or inappropriate for public view, but nearly all of it is right here, in black & white. And on those days when someone posts for me, I'm usually dictating from the couch, so all the information comes from me. And from what I've experienced so far, in the midst of this upheaval and uncertainty, there is much goodness and light.
So, yes, I'm OK. This, too, shall pass. And that's the real story. ¶ 6:54 PM
There are lots of people who read this blog and get information. Others read and comment. And then there are others, who read and then want the "real" story. And this blog is for them.
Honestly, I'm OK. Yeah, there are days when I'm tired and cranky, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, my head hurts, and I can't take one breath without gasping and coughing. I get a little depressed sometimes. I get VERY frustrated at my inability to function like I used to, and I just hate, hate, HATE having no hair. I want to stomp my foot and throw dishes. (I don't, but I want to.)
But there are more days when that doesn't happen. Most days I don't hurt much, the coughing is minimal, and I am grateful that I'm no sicker than I am. I don't wonder "why me?"; there's no reason to, and no good answer anyway. I have a wonderful support system, with people ready and willing to jump in whenever for whatever. My kids are OK; they get the facts as I get them, and they are free to ask any questions that arise. They both seem very happy to do whatever I ask of them, and they don't complain if their plans have to change because I need them with me. My former spouse is very supportive as well; he often offers to help in any way he can. My workplace is also very supportive; co-workers offer encouragement, wonderful meals, and pats on the back. People in my building, whom I don't yet know, offer good wishes when they see me.
When people call me, they are generally surprised that I sound like myself. (I don't know who they expect!) Yes, I have cancer, but I still laugh and joke around like I always have. We talk about the things we've always talked about; sometimes we talk about cancer, sometimes we don't. I don't mind answering questions about this illness, but I don't want to bore people with it, either.
The blog is to inform people of my progress (or lack thereof), but it's also a record for me, so when this is all over, I will remember what it was like. I don't put in every detail, some things are just too personal or inappropriate for public view, but nearly all of it is right here, in black & white. And on those days when someone posts for me, I'm usually dictating from the couch, so all the information comes from me. And from what I've experienced so far, in the midst of this upheaval and uncertainty, there is much goodness and light.
So, yes, I'm OK. This, too, shall pass. And that's the real story. ¶ 6:54 PM
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Hi Margaret -
I don't mean to disagree but... YOU are the real story because you are the real deal. From your point of view you can't see how your incredible attitude along with your grace, your sense of humor and your honesty is teaching and comforting all around you. And these traits shall not pass. When Samson's lost his hair it made him weak, your hair loss has made you even stronger - and we are glad.
Love, Jo
I don't mean to disagree but... YOU are the real story because you are the real deal. From your point of view you can't see how your incredible attitude along with your grace, your sense of humor and your honesty is teaching and comforting all around you. And these traits shall not pass. When Samson's lost his hair it made him weak, your hair loss has made you even stronger - and we are glad.
Love, Jo
# posted by 
: 1:45 AM
: 1:45 AM
Margaret,
I am one of those who have been lurking, at first because I am shy, but then because I am humbled by your spirit and grace. I just had to let you know that I've been following your blog and am overwhelmed at times to the point of tears.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It must be more difficult than I can imagine to do what you are doing and then turn around and write about it. I have always thought highly of you, but I had no idea of the depth of your soul until you shared it here. You are remarkable!
Maybe next time I will try to be witty or something but now I can only tell you how much I admire and respect you, that I I/we have been praying for you, and that I am very optimistic for your recovery.
in friendship,
Mike
I am one of those who have been lurking, at first because I am shy, but then because I am humbled by your spirit and grace. I just had to let you know that I've been following your blog and am overwhelmed at times to the point of tears.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It must be more difficult than I can imagine to do what you are doing and then turn around and write about it. I have always thought highly of you, but I had no idea of the depth of your soul until you shared it here. You are remarkable!
Maybe next time I will try to be witty or something but now I can only tell you how much I admire and respect you, that I I/we have been praying for you, and that I am very optimistic for your recovery.
in friendship,
Mike
# posted by : 4:31 PM
: 4:31 PM
I love you SO MUCH! Remember all those times when you cried for me? Well...now it's my turn. Promise though, I won't do it around you. They aren't sad tears; you know that, too.
You have done an amazing job with this blog. I am proud to call you my friend!
D
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You have done an amazing job with this blog. I am proud to call you my friend!
D
# posted by : 7:46 PM
: 7:46 PM<< Home
